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Selasa, 26 Januari 2010

Trendsetter

OK, I think I gain a little more confidence. I actually uploaded my designs to facebook 2 days ago and I got quite many possitive review. and I already put hair on my drawings so I guess it's time to upload the pictures to here too.. ok then, here goes..


awesome isn't it? especially the last one. you know, the funny thing about the last design was that it was supposed to be the back side of the design above it. and I only do a very rough sketch for the figure. But after making the bow and the skirt, I suddenly thought that it was way to good to be a back side of something, so I made a new design instead.

but despite of all of the satisfaction,, I think this would be the last time I upload my drawings on this blog. I just feel that it's too commercial. And it feels like I boast for something I'm don't even really master. And also I made this blog in the first place to show my feelings and emotion that I couldn't tell or show to anyone else. So IF I am ready to be a fashion blogger I will probably make another blog just for that.

And there's actually something I want to tell you about related to this thing. Well, I think we can established that I am a super-sensitive person who can exagerate even the most unimportant thing. SO lets put a pin on it for a minute and pretend that I wasn't exagerating.

the last view days I felt weird. It's like I'm not even me anymore. I've made way more friends in those very short moment. But I realized that I also became easier to be upset with someone and I wasn't as affraid as I used to to show it. And I actually KNOW why am I upset with those people. I realized that I don't like it when people are childish, selfcentered and inconsiderate. And somehow there are A LOT of people with that criteria. Just with different amount of portion and fortunatelly almost all of them are barely noticable. But the problem is the people with the amount of portion that is hardly bearable. Arghh, I don't even know how to explain it. And I can't. Because every now and then people actually read this blog and if the wrong person decided to read my blog in the wrong time that person is going to tell the person I was dying to tell you about. All that I can say is that I hate people who ACT or even BELIEVE that they are kind but actually hurt people. people that IS kind. ughh,, there's just so much I need tell. I guess I just have to get it out another way. ugh, way to have a blog. you know I made this blog because I was a very unimportant person back then and I thought, "sure, I'll just make a blog. Who am I anyway? No one is going to be interested with my blog". Well that just bite me right back, doesn't it? Ugh, I guess I'll just have to move on to the next thing. Well, it's about the title actually. You know, since I was little, I ever dreamt about being a trendsetter. heck, maybe every girl has ever dreamt about it. I mean, I just thought that it would be cool if everyone doing or wearing similiar things because of me. I just never expected that even the tiniest portion of it would be this... iritating. again, stick a pin to my exageration. and again, I can't really tell you what exactly I'm talking about. I guess there's such thing as insecure people. I just need to find another way to get all of this out. maybe I'll just go to the counceling room.

And there's actually something else I need to tell. I failed to join the student commite. again. And it is mainly my fault, really. I wasn't ready. Or I've been asking my information from the wrong person. You know, I just found out today that there was actually a one-year-plan paper for last year's commite. it got all of the information from all of the area. including the area I applied. there were all this programme and even who's in charge of the programme. I wasn't blaming anybody, really. Maybe the paper mustn't be leaked for all of the applients. And the people who got in really deserve it. It just made me think. If I knew about this paper, and it made me a lot more ready to face the interview, would I be the one who got in? I guess I'll never know. And my chances are up too, anyway. So let's just forget about it.

haha, so much for even try to be possitive, aren't I??

a person who's strugling to be the person she want's to be.

K-

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