condescendingly

Hi blog.
OK, maybe today's blog post has absolutely nothing to do with the title. but recently I've been crazy about that particular word. I'll tell you why in a moment.
well, this was actually supposed to be posted right after the post before this.. you know, the one which I said would be filled with loads of idiocity? well, late is better than nothing at all, right? lol
Ok, straight to the main point then.. So, whom could it possibly that I'm telling you about if I'm talking about idiocity? well, the real question is, whom else? He's the only one who can make me feel this weird, sensitive, stupid feeling. you're probably tired of keep hearing about him, and believe me, I'm also tired of typing anything else about him. but this time's quite an important term of event and I really need to get it out.
well,, I think I found out something something about him recently. It's like he's subsconciously keep pulling me everytime I tried to forget about him. It's like he pushed me to keep liking him, then marched his love affairs with her in front of my nose. Let to see my became miserable and alone. the same accident involving this topic happened twice. both including the same three parties, and the same stairs. It would be such a long story if I tell both but in an eggshell, I was both smiling at someone in both incident when he suddenly either right in front of me or walking exactly between the both of us. of course both incident ended with me looked like smiling at him. ugh, I just can't describe his face expression. it's like he saw a dead rat all covered with blood and intestants inside out with maggots all over it. and to top all of these things, I actually done a VERY stupid thing at smak 5 cup. so, basicly I was talking -loudly- about him, half saying that I want to talk to him; half just calling him names for ignoring me. then I didn't really remember why I did it but I looked back, and there he was, staring at me. It ruined me pretty badly. I can't sleep for 2 days and I didn't even dare to catch a glance of him for the whole week.
thankfully the moment had passed for it's been 2 weeks since it happened. surprisingly we're back to our staring state. but this time we are more frontal about our stare. and none of us look away. maybe it's because the reason was no longer fascination but hatred and prestige. I just don't know what to do anymore. it's not like I can be with him if I keep this feeling. And even if there's a miracle happened and we are together, it's not like we're gonna last long. he's leaving next year. every possibilities hit a dead end but I just can't completely get him out of my life.
eh. what the heck.

OK, about the title now.. I'm recently crazy about John Mayer. X) I think he's a really good musician. I was listening to one of his song which I rated weird at first but after I know what it's about, it directly became one of my favourite songs. The song entitled 'No Such Thing'. It has a weird begining because the intro was quite mellow and it suddenly turned into an upbeat song. But it what makes it unique I guess. The song is about just taking it easy and not to be a too obidient person. here, I'll just give you the lyrics so you'll know what it's really about.

No Such Thing

by. John Mayer

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me

Condescendingly

Take a seat

Take your life

Plot it out in black and white

Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings

And the drama queens

I'd like to think the best of me

Is still hiding up my sleeve

They love to tell you stay inside the lines

That something's better on the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

just a lie you've got to rise above

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track

Faded white hats grabbing credits

Maybe transfers

They read all the books but they can't find the answers

And all of our parents

They're getting older

I wonder if they've wished for anything better

While in their memories

Tiny tragedies

They love to tell you stay inside the lines

But something's better on the other side

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you got to rise above

I am invincible (x3)As long as I'm alive

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you've got to rise above

I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion

I'm gonna bust down the double doors

And when I stand on these tables before you

You will know what all this time was for

So, you see where did I get this "condescendingly" madness? (check the second line) lol

condescedingly means to behave as if you think you are better than everyone else. it's a retty deep word isn't it? what's what I love about american singers. they take their songs seriously.

Ahh, another thing about american greatness. Their TV series. I watched Gossip Girl recently and I think it was just awesome. I know I'm like 2 years late but, again, batter late than never, right? :P

OK, I thnk that's all for today.. I'm really sleepy right now..

X.O.X.O.

K-