tests are here

hi. it's been a long time..
haven't written a post in a while.. haven't written it in english in a longer time..
the final tests are here already.. man, time goes by so fast, doesn't it?
many things had happened recently.. you know, both SMILE and DIRECTOR are finished.. both of 'em are school events which I organised with my friends.. SMILE is school's sport league and DIRECTOR is teachers' day. All of us had our ups and downs but it all ended awesome. And there're also much drama for director.. you know, with the prelonged final test and all.. And there's also a huge fight with the junior high school teachers minutes before the show begins.. It was soooo intense. You see, the teachers' day was supposed to be held on tuesday, but due of the prelonged test, it was postponed to thursday.. Turned out the junior high had a religious service before director started and our decoration seemed to be 'in the way'. you know, although the auditorium looked a bit empty because not many decoration was put, but some of us worked until almost midnight at the auditorium!!! seriously! anywho,, one of the teacher from junior high (sapto!) started to tie our very-fragile black drapes and moving things up without telling any of the comittee. when we asked what was he doing, he started yelling at us and blaming us.. He said if we want to get the students out fast then all of the decoration must be put aside becouse they were in the way.. one of my friend was being persistent that the equipments couldn't be moved just like that and both of them ended up fighting.. then my friend ot really angry and said that today we were celebrating teachers' day so how could we respect him if he's acting like that. Then the teacher-which already turn around-go back and pull my friend's shirt while shouting 'you wanna fight??!?' thennn,, he kick my friend.. on the crotch.. after that all of us which earlier was still startled with the arguement started to move. the junior's teachers' calmed him and all of us calmed my friend.. After that three of the teachers talked t o us.. well, I thought they wanna apologize for his rude behavior but they just wanna scold us some more.. one of the teacher who talked a lot even pry up the school's motto for this year, being humble, and said that we were lack of it because we didn't know better that the teacher's short temperred and chalenged him instead. That's right, WE were blamed because HE kicked our friend. I mean, what kind of teacher is that?? first they didn't even say anything when one of their colleague clearly said and done something rude to a student, then they blamed us for what happened with many absurd excuses! AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE AT ALL!!! They want their students be hitmans or something??? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BELOVED JUNIOR HIGH???
Anyway, we told what happened to a teacher immediately and this case is gonna be proccessed. well,, despite of the huge fight,, the event's pretty much a success.. It got screwed up in the begining a bit though,, but it ended well.. And we didn't even rehearsed.. so the whole event was done spontaniously. lol

Lately I'm being more confused than usual.. My eyes also got wilder and stared every potentially cute guys around me. Well,, I guess my story between me and him has definitely gone to the dumpster.. He won't even looked at me anymore.. I thought I'd forget him too.. But somehow yesterday I dreamt that he found someone else, and I woke up crying.. What happened to me?? I don't think my heart still beating fast when he's around but why did I cry at the thought of him being with someone else?
I'm also being more and more short-temperred recently.. I also critic everything. And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING. But mainly other people's behaviour. I've began to feel that all of my friends have drifted away, sick of my bad behavior.. I'm scared.. But I'm also confused. If they won't accept me and my weakness, why should I even try accept theirs? But if I don't try, they will be ruder and ruder, and I will have worse attitude.. and it goes over and over like that until somebody confront me and nobody wants to be my friend anymore.. *sigh* high school is hard isn't it?

Well,, I guess that all for today.. I've commited to study a bit for monday's test.. and they are also assignment that was supposed to be due on friday.. oh well..

Bonne nuit.
-K