Beauty in Ugly?? Hmph, not so much..

Okay, this is way too much to bare.. In this few days I feel like a living zombie. Not that I really know which monster is a zombie nor I know what would a zombie feels and does,, but still..
And I came up with many ideas at school to write in this blog and somehow the ideas just vanished as I went home. How great is that?

speaking of vanished, I remember one of the ideas.. lol. well, it still has to do with the zombie problem. Well, lately I've been feeling strange. It's like I'm slowly evaporating because of everything that's been happening. I think I'm stressed out 'coz I'm trying to deal with the problems in school and at home, but trying to run from all of the problems. I want to do what I want without thinking of anyone's feeling but I try to keep everyone's feelings happy. all of that at the same time. I mean, who could DO that???!? You know, you really should feel how my brain works (if it's not retarted, then it's working too fast. either one, it's not working as it should have). for example, one time a person pissed me off and I felt an extreme rage for that person. But a second later, I started to think that he must have a good reason for him to do that. But then I thought again, 'To the heck with that! even if he has he has a reason, it doesn't give him permission to do that!'. And yes, I started to defend him again, then hate him again, and again, and again, and again... Until I myself forgot what was really the problem.. And I don't only think like that when I'm pissed. I think like that on EVERYTHING. You know, I think it's because of all the adults keep telling me to calm down, don't hold grudge, everything have a positive side, bla bla bla bla bla... Well they never told me how to deal with the negative side!! Ugh, psychology sucks. Life sucks. We're ALL SUCK.

Btw, remembered another one. Remember that dufus I told you about on my last posting? Well, I've been dodging him since that first day. Thanks god he doesn't sends me text message anymore. But he still comes to my class every now and then.. Gosh, I hate him!! I'm starting to be nauseous just to think about that.
Anyway, one of the ways I tried to dodge him is to put my 'I will hurt you if you dare come near me'-face. But because every reccess has a possibility that he 'bumps in' to me, now I'm used to put the-unwelcoming-face everywhere I goes. In some cases it's not that big-a-deal, but in other cases, well that's just plain ugly. I really hope he finally comes to his senses and LEAVE ME ALONE... before that face really becomes a habit.


GOD, WHEN WILL ALL OF THESE END??